It's funny that I wrote about perception yesterday. I mean I spent weeks milling, mulling, anguishing over a situation, that if I just had a minor detail, would have saved me from it all. It's amazing the things people have on their plates these days. And it's even more amazing to me how locked up some people are. I have my secrets too and there are things I've done I'm not proud of, but I'd like to think in the right situation I would be able to share them with someone. To me it's amazing how things fall into place. I think God may have finally been ready for me to have some closure and provided me with the right opportunities to know what I now know. It has provided clarity and peace for me in my situation. I think I can now focus a little bit more on me. I can work hard to find a job I love, get some things paid off, and maybe even meet someone new. I always have good intentions, but somewhere between intent and action, I usually fall a little short. I have a lot to process of how to gingerly handle the situation now that I am in a new role, but I think it'll turn out just fine.

It continues to amaze me how individuals can have such an affect on my attitude. I mean look at me. Two short weeks later, I'm in a completely different place. I'm not longer in a place of having to prove myself, need for affirmation, or respect. I'm ok with not having it. In fact, I don't even know if I want it. Maybe my lesson through this is to not allow others to dictate my feelings. Only I can allow myself to feel a certain way, and others certainly should not have so much weight on them. I think I'll put that on my to do list as well.