I haven't had a clear head lately, nor clarity to blog. Until I got this umprompted text message from a friend tonite:
"I just want you to know, that it just occurred to me that you're one of the strongest people I know. I just thought you should know that."
First of all . . . . I have amazing friends.
Second of all . . . It's amazing what an array of views people can have of you. While one person views you as the strongest person they know, someone else may view you as weak and vulnerable. And how interesting would it be if that person who viewed you as weak and vulnerable, knew that other people looked to you for a source of strength. However, it doesn't necessarily work the other way.
I don't think people who view you as strong, would feel as though your armor was tainted if they knew you had weak moments. I think the people who view you as strong, feel as though you have admirable strength because of your weakest moments. I don't think I could adequately empathize with others if I wasn't cognizant of the situations I have been through. If I didn't remember daily, that I personally have overcome whatever obstacle in my place, I wouldn't be able to be that person that some rely on.
I would like to say I've had a lot of help along the way. I have lots of great friends and a lot of great family. And they have absolutely been there for me along the way. But anyone who knows me, knows I'm gonna do things my way. I've had to take a step back many times and decide what was best for me. I've recently learned a valuable lesson about advice. That sometimes other people's advice just doesn't fit within the scope of who I am as a person. Some people have given me some very callous and rude advice, that just isn't me. And fortunately for others people in my life, it's easier to be yourself, than it is to be something your not. So I believe part of being strong is being a good problem solver. I feel as though when handed a situation that I'm not able to figure out, I feel as though I'm a pretty smart girl and I do my best to work through it with the values and morals that I believe are at the core of who I am.
Being the strongest person someone knows, is definitely the ultimate compliment, I feel. I think "strong" is a relative term. Just because I can withstand some pretty crappy situations, I don't think is what makes a person "strong." I think a lot of it is about remaining true to who I am. That I'm abundantly loyal. That I'm optimistic to a fault. That I never, ever . . . . . ever lose hope. Being strong isn't about coming out the other side unscathed. Being strong to me is taking every situation in a stride of grace. I haven't always been so graceful in strife. I'd like to think I've come a long way in the past couple of months. I'm enjoying the ever improving person I'm becoming. And I wouldn't be that person if it weren't for a lot of change (which we know I didn't like).
In Bible Study I've been learning some tried and true principles. One being . . . that we all fall short. That even I, when performing perfectly, fall short. And even though I am not perfect, I'm perfect to God. And I don't have to do anything to earn his love. And other people reflect that love, and the love I have for myself. . . . . . Which is why I got this wonderful text. :)
