It's the ups and the downs. And the courage to pick yourself back up again. Yes, things still are not going as planned back home. I have had no luck in the job market. I have been within grasp of my perfect job and denied because they hired an "internal" candidate. However she said I interviewed well. UMMMMM I do NOT want to hear that I "interviewed well" BUT you chose an internal candidate. I don't have a job lady. . . . So frustrating. So the search is on. I have had an interview and second interview with a place in Indianapolis (not in my professional career) and an interview tomorrow with a job in Columbus (also, not in my professional career), but we have to get back to making money. It's amazing how the world revolves around money. It's one of those things that just makes the world turn, and will never go away. And unfortunately for me, money seems to fall out of my hands quicker than it seems to fall into it.
Luckily for me, I have expanded my social circle back home. I have reconnected with a few old high school friends and have gotten out a bit. It's fun to see people and have them say "You look familiar." I never visited home much during my 8-9 years in Columbus, so I really have been gone. It's almost like I'm a newcomer to Mercer County. No one remembers me from high school. I don't know if that means that they just didn't care, that they were too wrapped up in their own lives to look around, or if they don't remember my wonderful presence back in the day. So it's nice to get out, meet people, have a few laughs on the weekends. It's not as planned out as I would like, but I'll take what I can get.
I have mentioned this person before . . . . lets call him . . . Bob. Bob has returned to my life yet again. There are times in my life that I feel as though I'm really over Bob, and there are times in my life where I think that this cannot possibly keep continuing to resurface if it wasn't meant to be given a proper chance. The first time he fucked up, the second time I fucked up. I'll be honest, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship still in June or July after Arron. I guess my heart wasn't ready to be put back into a situation where I would be used again, and taken for granted. But Bob is back. There is definitely a conversation that needs to be had about how serious he is about us not being in one anothers lives. Because eventually that will happen, when one of us moves on. Which is sad to think about.
And as always Mister Why Not (this is such a clever nickname I love it). Mister Why Not continues to play the idiot card. He continues to know that being with me would be the smartest decision he could ever make but continues to choose not to give this a concerted effort. I was informed today that Mister Why Not has put many girls in this position. The words were "I have seen many girls fall into your shoes." And to be honest, I will always maintain that I'm "different." Which we all know is a crock of crap. But, I feel as though this process 2 years in the making has been a little more thought through. But then again, not so thought through. I am starting to develop very angry frustrations within me about the situation that given one too many alcoholic beverages, and a little lack of consideration, if running into him, I'm likely to blow up. Sooooo with all of those things given good probability this weekend . . . we'll see how it goes.
Continue to keep your fingers and toes crossed for me to first and foremost find a job. I would really really appreciate it! :)
