Diary of a Newly Anointed Military Girlfriend

If you think this post is going to be about me blabbing about how sad it is or how much I cry. . . . You're wrong.  However, I can't say some of that won't be sprinkled in between.

When Aron signed up for the National Guard, I thought he would race around the world raising American Flags at national disaster sites.  I didn't know there was chance of active deployment, combat training, and longs leaves.  Aron was actually a lot smarter than I gave him credit for by not informing me of everything they have to do at basic training.  He knew if he told me that I would have stood in front of that airport door and not let him go.  Lucky for him, I found out after he got on the plane.  For example: Week 4, which is next week.  They get fitted for their gas mask.  Then they get filed into a room ten at a time that is pumped full of gas, and have to take off their gas mask, give their reporting statement, and walk out of the room.  . . . . . . Uhhhhhh excuse me??? Did you just say my boyfriend will be taking his what off???? In a room full of huh?  Yah.

I made some promises I haven't been very good at keeping to him before he left.  Like the promise that if he was going to be working hard, pushing his limits, so was I.  Man I really, really, really lack self discipline.  If there is one character flaw I wish I could gain more than anything, it would be self discipline.  I give into myself, obstacles, not meeting goals, entirely too easily.  Aron is busting his tail.  And I have ran, a handful of times.  Since moving back home, I've attempted to refocus myself.  In order for Aron and I to get to spend Sunday off base at his graduation after his parents leave, he has to earn honors status.  Which is a long list of things, that I will not be disappointed or any less proud if he does not accomplish.  One requirement is he has to run his mile and a half in under 9 minutes.  9. Minutes.  That's a 6 minute mile.  So I told him if he was going to work towards that, that I would work towards the girls honor status.  Which is a mile and a half in 12 minutes.  Right now I'm at 15:04.  So I better keep working.  We are not quite halfway through my being able to see him, so I better work a little harder.

However . . . to the main point.  It's so strange to talk to Aron on the phone.  We've never been much of a phone talking relationship type people.  Now, that's all I get.  Approximately once a week.  A fifteen minute phone call.   In my most recent phone call last night, he already sounds like a different person.  He speaks more maturely, sounds so responsible, and is very task oriented.  My fear, that I'm not longer good enough.  I'm not sure when or where this crazy idea crept into my head, but it came storming to the forefront last night.  He is so driven, being held so accountable, and here I am on day two of giving up pop, drinking a diet mt. dew.  What is wrong with me?  I have severely gotten off track with desire and drive to attain goals.  Somewhere along the way, I just stopped caring about achieving pretty much anything other than academic or occupational success.

Aron walking onto his plane.  

Aron and I goofing around after some peanut butter milkshakes two days before he left.  Yes he has on my necklace and he had recently made me laugh.  This is right before he attempted to lick my face.  

When I see Aron for the first time in 8 weeks, many websites, research say that after basic training, he will look different.  Much different.  And I don't want the opportunity to slip through my hands to provide him with the same experience.  I've been attempting to lose weight for almost well . . . all my life.  However, this is the one and only chance I will ever get to make a second first impression.  And I really don't want to mess this up for us.  I know Aron loves me and cares about me with all his heart and he doesn't care about what I look like after 8 weeks.  But I just want him to be as proud of me as I am of him.