Frustrated

Well . . . I'm not having so much as a good night. This whole moving home thing . . . just not what I had planned. I try so hard every day to make the right decisions, to weight the pros and cons, to look objectively at life and make the correct choice. Always to find that I've made the wrong decision. I look around at the people around me and everyone is so happy. And I am lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life with such optimistic attitudes about where their life is headed. Yet when I display this same amount of optimism towards my life, all I end up, is disappointed. It sucks. What am I doing wrong? All I want is to be happy. I don't think that's a lot to ask. Maybe I'm throwing a pity party who knows, but it's so hard to be happy when you have no one to share anything with. I'm not talking about even a male companion, I'm talking about anyone. Mercer county is like putting me in a box without windows. All of my friends who I have grown to know and love and care about are in Columbus. No one is here. And it's not the same having a phone friendship with people. I can't talk to my parents about the same things I talk to my friends about. And my vision of how everything was going to work out is not happening in the least. I think the most frustrating thing is to be alone. And don't get me wrong I love my alone time, and I don't mind being single. It's the aloneness. The feeling of having no one to talk too. The feeling of no one being there when you wanna break down. It's the feeling of when things go wrong and you have no understanding why.